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Episode 25: The Motion Picture
Dick and Johnson receive an email from Hollywood inviting them to be consultants on a movie that is being made about their exploits. Excited to be part of the project, the two head for Los Angeles, California — stopping in Las Vegas on the way to see Britney Spears. In Hollywood, they go sight seeing: they visit the Getty and the Griffith Observatory, beat up a man in a run down Mickey Mouse costume, enjoy an improv comedy show, see the La Brea Tar Pits, and quickly run out of money trying to help the many, many homeless people. They then make their way to the film studio where they are greeted by the movie's executive producer. As part of their tough bargaining strategy, Dick and Johnson decide to negotiate their salary as consultants right there on the lot. Dick's first offer of forty thousand dollars is quickly dismissed by Johnson, who then haggles the producer's first offer of 200 million up to 500 million dollars. Dick excuses himself to change out of his pants he has soiled upon hearing the enormous figures. Dick and Johnson are then introduced to the movie's director, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is currently inhabiting the body of a small cat. After the negotiations, the producer, Schwarzenegger, Dick, and Johnson tour the set, which is currently prepared for a fight scene: Doctor Isis has just shot Dick and Johnson out of a plane and they have to fight his ninja nurses and ultimately him, but he is then revealed to be a robot copy of the real Doctor Isis. Since the studio could not procure ninja outfits, all ninjas are wearing chicken suits from an out of business El Pollo Loco restaurant. Dick and Johnson are asked to show how they would act in this situation. After a few takes, resulting in an injured stuntman, a damaged set, and an out of work Adrien Brody, Dick, Johnson, and Arnold enjoy craft services, while the set is being repaired. Next, the producer asks for Dick and Johnson's input with a scene in which the two express their friendship in a very dramatic moment. Together they work on rewriting the script, changing the setting to Disneyland, but are temporarily distracted by Arnold's description of a secret private Disneyand club called Club 66. Dick then begins dictating a moving speech for Johnson to add to the script, but Arnold notes that the speech quickly turns into an actual profession of friendship and also mentions the movie itself. Arnold and his comment are also incorporated into the revision, and Dick points out that they are being filmed by multiple cameras in that very moment, breaking the fourth wall (both within the fictional movie script and the actual show). Finally, they end on a big fight scene with Doctor Isis and aliens that land on the set. The producer is thrilled by the rewrite and remarks that it would be most efficient if Dick, Johnson, and Arnold shot the scene themselves as soon as possible. A production error leads to the set being build up at Disney World, and a large portion of the park is torn down and a prop Anaheim built around it to remedy the mistake. The three shoot the scene — live ammo is being used for added realism — and a climactic battle leaves much of the new set burned down and torn apart, and several actors dead. During the fight, Arnold feels his emotional connection with Dick and Johnson cause a change in him, and in his litter box he transforms into naked Arnold Schwarzenegger just as the film runs out. Having run grossly over budget and left a number of people dead, the production is considered a disaster and the movie is never released. Arnold, who Dick and Johnson had become good friends with during their shared time on set, has become overly needy and calls the two daily.